Ain’t no cure for the Summertime Blues

Well hello there, it’s been a while!  Life has been pretty busy: Cornwall, a wedding (not mine), spending time with family from far and wide…oh and I had COVID again.

And boy did it wipe me out!

Anyway, let’s focus on the good stuff….

Our Summer holiday commenced with a lovely long weekend camping in Cornwall.  The journey down on the Friday wasn’t too bad, partly because we stayed our first night in Tintagel, a little off the beaten track.  A few gins whilst basking in the last rays of the sun, yummy food and then back at the ranch (AKA our van) for a DVD.  Lovely first day of holibobs!

I woke up for the loo once (this is my punishment for drinking after 8pm. Good Lord I’m old) and then lay in bed trying to get back to sleep, fighting the millions of thoughts swimming around in my head:

Did I throw out that old banana before we left?
How lovely, I can hear seagulls.
I’m dreading Charlotte’s first boyfriend and what comes with it….
What should we have for breakfast?
(Counts hours slept) I could do with a lot more sleep.
I need to buy a new bra!
I’d love a dog, but it’s such a commitment.
We must see Top Gun Maverick whilst it’s still at the cinema.
I wonder what my legs will look like when I’m old.
Fucking seagulls won’t shut up.

Sweet Jesus. That’s forty minutes of my life I’m never getting back.  And of course the minute I drifted off…. beep beep beep – time to get up because the parking was due to run out.

I awoke in the position of someone mid-highland fling (God knows what I had been dreaming about or how many times I had kicked Darren Riverdance-style in his sleep).  I pulled open the blind….and the sky looked like one ginormous cloud – windy and rainy.

So I probably didn’t need to pack three kinds of sun protection.

General shenanigans were had and we made some lovely memories – the sun even managed to come out a bit so we could go swimming in the outdoor pool – see, I did need that factor 30.

*****

Come Sunday, I was keen to watch the UEFA final.  I gave Charlotte a quick synopsis of the importance of this game: taking home a sporting cup for the first time in years/finally beating this particular team (I omitted the terrible “2 World Wars and 1 World Cup” chant) and also explained the significance of a women’s team winning, particularly as the UEFA didn’t recognise women’s professional football until about forty years ago (according to Wikipedia).

The atmosphere was loud and the cheering made her jump a few times, but overall it was a brilliant afternoon.  As we were on a campsite, the spectators were predominantly families so we didn’t have to shelter Charlotte from any swearing and ranting.**  Come halftime we had to resort to retrieving the iPad to keep her sane, but I kept her updated with goals and extra time etc.  Every time we cheered on a great defence or goal, she peered up at me and asked “have we won?” – and so I prepped her for the celebratory singing and shouting a few moments before England actually DID win.  After the trophy was handed over, she stated: “If Germany have won before, they should be happy that it’s our turn to win.”

I love that kid.

 

**however, earlier in the day I did have to steer Charlotte away from a family in the pool, when a mum called her partner “a mother f@cker” for splashing her. Nice.

*****

Not long after our break away, Darren and I attended the beautiful celebration of our dear friends’ nuptials, as their official ceremony had taken place the week before.  It was a particularly hot day in the New Forest, and although the surroundings were absolutely stunning, our little group sheltered in the air con because every step outside in the searing heat was like a punishment from the Nature gods.

FYI it was also closer to the rather delicious canapes….

After about an hour and half (and 3 large Blue Lagoons) I had to step up to the plate for my important job:  I had the honour of singing as the gorgeous brides made their way down to the altar (AKA the gardens) for a surprise wedding!  Having never sung on my own before, and rarely used a microphone, I was somewhat nervous.  After a shaky start I managed to make it through the entire song, momentarily choking with emotion when the lovebirds made it down to my platform – namely because one of them didn’t know it was me warbling.  She cried.  I cried. Then all through the rest of the afternoon, kind guests approached me to tell me I made them cry.  Totes emoshe!  Despite the anxiety, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

(I am taking bookings for weddings and parties in 2023 hahaha)

*****

Before the end of the school holidays, Charlotte came to stay with us for nine days and it was so fun!  By day five we were all exhausted from baking, swimming, cycling, playing, charity shopping, mooching, eating, Wookey Hole-ing, crafting (including a “working” volcano) and partying!  I’m not sure I can pick my favourite moment, but we shared a lot of love and laughter.

I kept finding little reminders of Charlotte for days after we took her home:  glitter, sweet wrappers, a chocolate-fudge covered fork down the side of the sofa….and I also had a panic when some tiny clothes came out of the washing machine:

 

Last week I was dog-sitting at my friend’s house and spent the first evening sat on the sofa considering my bad choices.  Who watches “Scream” whilst staying in a strange house alone? One dog is frightened of her own shadow and the other is deaf.

There was a HUMUNGOUS spider in the bedroom one morning and I sent a bloodcurdling scream throughout the house as it scampered to safety underneath the bed.  Not one bark from a dog.  No interest in sniffing out and investigating the problem.  They showed more bloody interest when I was sat in the bath relaxing and not requiring any protection.  Mabel came in about three times, stretched her puppy body up over the rim of the bath, looked from side-to-side and then wandered off, satisfied that I was safe.

 

From what…bubbles?!

Thanks for that Mabes.

*****

I shall end this blog with my question of the day:

I may or may not have “accidentally” scoffed the remaining takeaway chow mein at about 3 pm this afternoon.  Theoretically, what is the best course of action?

1. Replace with another dish from the Chinese before Darren gets home
2. Try to pass off a Co-op version
3. ‘fess up

Answers on the back of a postcard to:  Secret Eater, Candy Land, North Pole, NP12 YUM

 

Stay safe everyone and enjoy the cooler weather!