June-fest

Like a lot of people, I start every day with good intentions.

But generally by 09:26 I have eaten a bowl of Shreddies, scrambled eggs…..and four squares of Dairy Milk.

FFS.

There is also a box of Strawberry Sensation Pop Tarts that taunt me every time I open the kitchen cupboard….

My daily aim isn’t too taxing: eat some fruit and veg; drink 1500ml of water; dry brush my skin and moisturise; meditate; exercise….. but even working from home I don’t seem to have the time to do all these things.

Or, more accurately, I don’t make the time.

I was only on 3800 steps one evening last week, and with the weather so lovely, I convinced Darren to take a walk with me to get me up to at least 5000.  It was about 8.30 pm and no one was around (which was fortunate because I had on a dress which displayed by back fat and bingo wings).  It was so peaceful – we heard terrific birdsong and some rustling in the hedges, but that was about it – and  we walked up the trailway, holding hands and swinging our arms like kids.

With about 60 yards to the gate, Darren suggested we mix it up a bit for the remaining length of the trail: I aimed to walk backwards and Darren chose some fancy footwork with a breakdancing vibe.  My thighs ached about 20 steps in, so I took a breather before continuing my mission.  Darren had almost fallen over twice, but was keen to reach his goal.

I eventually reached the gate, leaned on it and enjoyed watching Darren finish the last couple of metres, impressed by his determination.  Moments later a cyclist pulled up and looked at me quizzically.  I shrugged my shoulders – no words could really describe what was happening – he laughed and shouted to Darren: “nice moves, where did you get those from?” to which I replied “1996”.  Undeterred, Darren piped up “it’s taken that long to get here”.

It was a more leisurely stroll back home and at one point we stopped and watched the barn owl swooping over the river to find his dinner.  It was very picturesque and actually quite romantic.  Especially when I found a trail of heart-shaped petals on the ground. “Look at these, they are perfect hearts!” I exclaimed.  Darren acknowledged them and then found his own: “here’s another one”.

Turned out his findwas actually bird shit.

*****

Following Fantastic Mr Fox’s recent rampage, we have now weighted down our food waste bin with a breeze block.  Subsequently, I have not had to pick up mouldy banana skins and rancid bacon rinds for a few weeks now.

On a sadder note, unfortunately we have not caught sight of our resident bunny recently.  My neighbour softly broke it to me that they discovered some fluffy evidence on the road…turns out he may have been devoured by a hungry fox.

I am currently wracked with guilt and struggling to respect the circle of life.

We were lucky enough to spot a deer grazing in the meadow opposite our kitchen window!  I managed to sneak out with my phone and get a few snaps, but disappointingly they weren’t great photos (see above).  The barn owl has been somewhat elusive (although I think he is just a fair-weather owl and hibernates during the rain, and who could blame him?) but he was majestically flying around the farm that evening as well.  The local herons and egrets have a flight path above our house, so we were able to watch them feasting in the river and then flying home to feed their little ones.

I think my love of wildlife basically proves that I am now an adult.

That, and the fact that I fully enjoy “Springwatch” and deadhead my roses and geraniums of a lunch hour.  I am also super excited to have about 30 blueberries on my blueberry bush!  It only produced 6 berries last year, and by the time I had gone to pick them they had disappeared.  Darren insisted they were stolen by a peckish delivery driver, but I think it was more likely to be the birds or rabbit.

Guess we won’t have a problem with the latter this year……

 

Oh and another animal tale…

I was feeling a bit rough the other day –  chesty cough and head like cotton wool –  I popped to the shop to get some painkillers, cough medicine and a nice bakery-esque treat.

And what did I meet in the middle of the road?

A giant cow! Poor thing was trotting along trying to find her way home to the moo crew.  Everyone was driving past, but I just couldn’t bear to leave her wandering across the street in a zig zag towards a blind corner.  I knew I couldn’t approach the cow – it was LARGE – and also stressed out, but I found the gate and attempted to open it with the idea of trying to safely to usher her in.  Before I had a chance, the whole herd came trotting over to see what was going on, so that was that.  I was fighting a losing battle, so the only thing I could do was call the local police:

“Hi, I’m calling because there is a cow in the road.  Not sure if it is classed as an emergency?”

#HotFuzz  #Farmlife

*****

Other than that, the only excitement has been:

• I accidentally only shaved one of my legs
• I neglected to add the Rogan Josh curry paste to my Rogan Josh (and didn’t notice until I found the packet in the fridge the next day)
• For no reason I put my vitamins in the microwave
• Darren and I had to share his glasses to read the pub menu

I really do feel like I am getting old! But hey, if the Queen can make it around town at her ripe old age, I can’t complain…

I was very excited about the Jubilee, as it meant scones, bunting, family and days off.  But it didn’t quite turn out to be the party I’d imagined….

Thursday was roaring sunshine and so I took my aunt – visiting from the U.S. – for a walk to take in the English countryside and capture photos of the beautiful campions, daisies and forget-me-nots.  We happened upon the village fete, but it appeared to be on the wind down, with no Pimms or cider left and a dry BBQ.  We had a quick mooch around the hay bales and giggled at the temporary “Car Park” where a lone tractor was parked.

Then we went to the pub.

We were off to Cornwall for the next two days and our arrival was greeted with rain.  We managed to make it to one event, but there were only about six stalls and a naff tombola…so again, we ended up at the pub!

We decorated our rented apartment with some Union Jacks and pictures of the Queen, and we were ready to party alongside the Jubilee concert and various other topical TV shows.  Unfortunately we couldn’t get “real” telly, only a select number of streaming services, so our evening became Jurassic Park 3 (the rubbish one) and then…yep you guessed it, the pub!  Thankfully we were staying opposite one.

This was no accident.

*****

June has been a busy month, and last weekend we celebrated Fathers Days and my mum-in-law’s birthday.  As a surprise, Charlotte wanted to make a cake with a bee theme (her nanny’s fave) and so I grabbed a cake mix, yellow food colouring, a fountain candle and the only bee decor I could find locally. We only had a small window of time, but we managed to sneakily bake a chocolate fudge cake, allow 5 minutes cooling time before sandwiching the sponges with thick fondant, and then slapped on some yellow icing and a chocolate bee.

We pretended that the pool of yellow was honey and that the bee was meant to melt.  Don’t judge me:

We probably should have just gone to the pub.