Day 207

My day begins with a lot of shouting directed at my Alexa.  I get a little stroppy, although of course this has absolutely no impact.  Particularly as I discover it is not even plugged in.  Doh!  I forgot that Darren and I rejigged the furniture last night, which involved mucho disconnecting of various wires… (and subsequently, lots of tidying up and finding new homes for our crap).

Whilst Darren tinkers with the van – probably not the most accurate description, as he is working hard to get it through the MOT – I attempt to make face masks out of my knickers.  Not an obvious choice of weekend activity, I know, but I have a couple of unused pairs going to waste.

Despite following visual instructions on YouTube, I just can’t seem to make anything work.  All the cuts are wrong.  Either my ability to follow instructions is very poor, or my knicker material is too large for the task. Or it’s a little bit of both….  I’m reminded of the other evening when Charlotte and I sat down to do some origami, which was also a complete failure.  To be fair, even Charlotte said: “I think the only person who knows how to do a valley fold, is the person that invented it.”  Yep, the 5 year old nailed it.

Anyway, I manage to make some accidental bunting and a snood:

At one point Darren walks in and finds me wrapped up in a swathe of material and looks at me incomprehensibly.  I explain my crafting, and his look turns to one of confusion as to why I am choosing to use a pair of pants in this way.  Needless to say, he swiftly leaves me to it.

*****

It is bloody freezing and I have had to break out the central heating for my tummy.  I have been trialling various porridge toppings and my favourite is a (giant)swirl of Nutella.  However, I have been introduced to a new treat….white chocolate Lindt balls.  I will be forever thankful to my friend for this culinary tip:

I swear, the temperature has dropped a million degrees (I am not exaggerating) and I’m finding myself going to bed with a hot water bottle at night and generally adorning myself with blankets all day.   Unfortunately one side of our electric blanket ceased to heat up last Christmas, so we had to keep swapping sides to share out the warmth.  First World problems.  Darren has bid on some new controllers and I am eagerly anticipating the outcome.

All my Summer clothes have been packed away and I am awaiting my delivery of Autumnal goodies, soon to be rescued from our storage unit!  I even ordered some fancy tights from a website which claims to cater for all shapes and sizes.  To be honest, it was like taking a nineties magazine quiz – how tall are you, what size are you, what denier would you like, which of these options do you agree with more: A. I love cheese;   B. Cheese is OK;   C. Cheese is my nemesis;   D. I can give or take cheese. Well, not exactly, but there were a fair few choices! I opted for a pair of opaque black and 80 denier navy blue.

Then I realised I am not actually going anywhere, so that was a total waste of money.

Speaking of surveys, I did the government career skills online test and there were a few surprise suggestions.  Amongst my favourites were:

• Head Chef or Catering Manager (well, I have been honing my cooking skills during lockdown)
• Cake Decorator (I am literally horrendous at this.  See above for demonstration of my practical skills)
• Prison Instructor or Diplomatic Service Officer (actually, I think I would be quite good at these two)
• Air Accident Investigator (how did they get this from my answers??!)
• Beauty Consultant (why thank you)
• Market Trader (think this was my favourite #Eastenders)
• Bookseller or Pet shop assistant (I would happily do both of these on a part-time basis)
• Cinema or Theatre Attendant (free films – woo hoo!)
• Personal Shopper (this is interesting, I could be the next Gok and spend other peoples’ cash HURRAH)
• Retail jeweller (because….?)
• Travel Agent or Horticultural Manager (there were absolutely NO questions about travel or knowledge of plants in this quiz.  Little do they know, I can kill cacti with my withering stare)

The rest were jobs I had actually done in the past, so there was some element of accuracy:

• Administrator
• Family Support Worker
• Receptionist
• Local Government Officer
• Typist
• Sales Assistant

I was slightly disappointed that I wasn’t advised to become a boxer, pop star, food taster or lady in waiting.

But hey, I don’t have to live by their rules.