Day 171

I realise I have not had what I would qualify as a “proper” lunchtime walk for at least a couple of weeks, so I bite the bullet and lace up my trainers ready to brave the grey skies. Halfway round my usual circuit (AKA cow meadow) I decide to break loose and rebel! I hang a right and walk down a dirt track and then onto the main road. Thankfully there are not many cars around because most of the road is curb-less. And I look a right mess. In spite of the clouds, it is really warm today and I’m beginning to think this was a bad idea.

I am absolutely boiling by the time I get home. Good God, even the front of my neck is sweating, what’s that all about? I chow down egg and avocado on toast and guzzle cold water until I feel I’m at a normal temperature.

Sitting back down in front of my laptop, I glance down to check for a dinner badge on my jumper, in case of any video calls. I suddenly freeze. Something is bloody moving. It is brown and it has more legs than me. Jesus. I panic and jump up, edging towards the front door. Please please please don’t be a spider. On second glance it looks more like a beetle. Or a weird cockroach. I am pleased to rid myself of this winged beast and shudder as I shut the door and retreat back to the lounge.

#countrylife

I am simultaneously knackered and energised from my walk (and the adrenaline from my close encounter) and super glad it is FRIDAY!  Time to concentrate and get back to work…

*****

By 5pm I am just plain knackered.

After a brief pause, I begin packing for tomorrow’s trip to Cornwall – a quick turnaround – leaving at 8am and returning home by 9pm (hopefully). I have a few things to organise:

• Charge tablet and download TV shows and films for Charlotte (to stave off travel boredom)
• Fill up drinks bottles with water/squash and refrigerate (single-use plastic BE GONE!)
• Find her booster seat (tres important)
• Pack toys/pens/wipes/pocket money/sunglasses in the back of the car (essentials)
• Pack spare set of kids clothes/jacket/shoes/suncream (always need a plan B)
• Pick some clothes for myself (2 options as weather is unpredictable)
• Locate raincoats (just in case – as per the above)
• Sort out packed lunches (money saving plan)
• Cook eggs and bacon for our breakfast rolls (our new fave)
• Clean out the cooler box (stinky)

Imagine what it is like when we camp OVERNIGHT.

Deciding to treat myself to a pre-dinner, posh snack-age – and generally procrastinating – I prepare fig and feta wrapped in bacon. I cannot WAIT to bite into the gooey, salty and sweet goodness. I pop them under the grill and get to work on the packed lunches and other chores on my list. I’m not sure how much time passes before I smell burning and the smoke alarm pierces my eardrums. I leg it back to the kitchen and am gutted to fund solid lumps of charcoal where my appetisers should be….

If you look close enough, you can see the face of the Mary Magdalene.

Honest.

*****

The washing is in the tumble drier and I settle down with a face mask (beauty, not costume) and two slices of Darren’s dad’s allotment cucumber on my eyes. I relax to the smell of fresh washing and cottage pie in the oven (it smells much nicer than it sounds, although I’m not saying it’s the next Yankee Candle aroma) and exhale loudly. When I take a deep breath back in, I realise I need to wash the beef stink out of my hair and clean my neck sweat.

Oh bugger, and the jelly needs to be poured into lunchbox pots, before it solidifies.

*****

Well, my money-saving plans and general prep were scuppered, as Charlotte asked if we could go to Pizza Hut for lunch. We agreed, on the proviso that we would eat our picnic for dinner.

But who can eat dinner after pizza??

2 large pizzas, a half-eaten ice cream and 3 extortionately priced beverages later, we were on our way to the park to enjoy the pedaloes on the lake. I’m too full to cope with balancing whilst trying to alight the boat, let alone pedal with my knees up to my chin/boobs/bread-belly, so I sit on a bench and watch Darren puffing with exertion and Charlotte grinning.

At one point, they chug past and Darren looks at me, exhausted, admitting “this is really hard work!” and I can’t help but laugh when Charlotte pipes up “yeah it is” as she sits back, her feet nowhere near the pedals.