Day 76

Two and a half months ago it was only just Spring. Weeks and months seemed so far ahead and Summer a distant but tangible entity.

Here we are, almost halfway through the year and so much has happened. It feels as though one day soon we will be turning a corner – on a steady path back to “normality”…whatever that is…and whatever the new version will be.

I still feel nervous about the virus – about catching it, spreading it or losing someone to it – but I feel I have a little more control over it now. Yes, I still hold my breath when someone walks past, but at least I am out there. I managed to walk around Tesco last night, albeit with Darren, some handgel and my breath-holding skills. I didn’t love it. I was terrified to touch my face and was desperate to clean my debit card before I put it back in my wallet. Suffice to say I was pleased to go home and immediately shower and put my clothes in the wash. Shudder.

But hey, it was a step forward.

*****

As you can imagine, it is a little anxiety-provoking for me when we go to Cornwall. The ultimate result – spending time with Charlotte – is made slightly stressful with the hand cleaning and vigilance, but worth it.

Last weekend we took her to the beach. It was too rough to swim or use our boogie boards, but we paddled and played in the sand and laughed a lot. Darren and I made a point of driving down to Cornwall early, not wishing to contribute to traffic or numbers of holiday-makers and to ensure social distancing. Surprisingly, the beach was fairly quiet and to my relief we had plenty of space. At one point Charlotte said sadly “I wish I could play with the other children” and we reassured her that one day she will be able to.

Covered in sticky suncream and sand, we trudged back to the van with rumbling tummies. Charlotte, having spotted her bicycle in the back, begged her Dad to let her ride it in the car park. Darren patiently helped Charlotte balance and taught her how to use the pedals. After 10 minutes or so she was actually riding it independently, her grin as wide as her face. What a proud and treasured moment.

As if that wasn’t enough excitement, Charlotte was over the moon that we were having hot dogs for lunch. “I haven’t had hot dogs for ages” she exclaimed, her eyes wide, and she kept checking the pan to see if they were ready.

Visiting the country park to feed the squirrels was a bit like driving dodgems, avoiding bikes, dogs and rogue children. The squirrels were not particularly interested in us this week, probably because there were more people around, waving their bags of nuts, but we finally found a willing snacker to feed from our hands. There was even a brave little robin taking crumbs from us – we couldn’t believe it – his spindly legs bobbing along, a quick peck into our hands and he was off.

As we made our way back to her house, Charlotte told us her 3 favourite moments of the day: the robin, riding her bike and the sausages.

*****

We left sometime between 4 and 5 and the sun was still burning in the sky. I was disappointed at not being able to swim today, so Darren drove us to Lyme Bay for a dip. He was worried about how busy it might be, but when we arrived at 6:30ish we could see that people were staying away from other families and there were lots of gaps on the sandy beach.

Well, other than a group of about 20 people who were sat together drinking and smoking. My guess was that they either resided in a commune together, or were simply ignorant and dangerous idiots.

Anyway.

The sea was too cold for a swim, but I went in up to my waist and stood facing the sun, allowing the rays to penetrate my skin. I blocked out the sounds of splashing and voices, soaking in every ounce of peace and happiness from my day.

Making our way back along the promenade, we found we had to actively dodge people. Some were mindlessly wandering and others just appeared to have no regard for others. I couldn’t get out of there quick enough, so we headed over to the other beach, full of giant rocks, broken tree branches and stinky seaweed. Oh, and fossils!

The next day we were horrified at the photos and footage of people on Bournemouth beach and Durdle Door.

I don’t mean to seem hypocritical and I can promise that if it wasn’t for Charlotte, there is no way we would be leaving the county until all this is over.

I do understand that people want to go to these places, but why can’t they use their common sense and stay safely distanced?? And why on EARTH would you jump off the rocks and endanger yourselves and others….and then make use of TWO emergency helicopters.

Oh, and then leave bags and bags of rubbish, smouldering barbecues and general filth in their wake. Disgusting. Just when I hope that things might turn around for us – that we have an opportunity to help our delicate planet – I am left feeling disappointed in the human race.