One Year On
Our bedroom is currently being de-moulded and redecorated. The house looks like an antique warehouse (not actual antiques, we just have old-looking furniture and interesting knick-knacks) but I have made sure it is organised chaos. I cannot work around clutter – my brain just won’t function.
We have shifted our belongings into the “spare” room AKA my wardrobe/bike park/Charlotte’s bedroom/Aladdin’s cave and squeezed in our mattress (sans bed frame), TV, 2 chest of drawers, dressing table and bedside cabinet. It’s cosy and feels a little bit like camping, and we have both slept surprising very well on the floor.
Not so easy getting from lying to standing position though.
I awaken to a melodic sound of chirping, assuming Darren woke earlier and used a soothing meditation app to get back to sleep. As I rouse, I realise the sound is not repetitive and that the app we usually use is on my iPad, which is on the table next to me and is turned off. I refocus and listen again and it dawns on me that the sound is coming from outside the window. How did I never hear that before? It’s beautiful.
I’m not quite ready to get up yet. I curl under the duvet and cover my face and enjoy the relaxing tweeting sound, gently drifting off…. It only feels like seconds later that my alarms starts to buzz. Ugh. I lazily grab my phone and hit snooze. The noise is incessant. And the bed is vibrating. What?
I tap Darren but he doesn’t move. I know he is breathing because a raspy snore escapes every so often. “Darren. Darren it’s your phone not mine” I say, just above a whisper. He groans and reaches down the side of the mattress. But it isn’t there. We flip the bedclothes around and nothing. Regrettably, we have to actually get out of bed. I grab the nearest thing to pull myself up off the floor – a drawer handle – and reveal the phone. How it managed to find its way under me is a mystery.
There goes my snooze.
*****
After a morning of emails and answering queries, a crisp walk in the cool, but sunny afternoon, helps clear my mind. Chubby robins twitter in the trees and lots of happy dogs saunter past with their tails wagging and noses to the ground. It feels good to be out in the fresh air.
I am conscious that I need to maintain my daily exercise, because it is making me feel better, sleep better and probably look better. Who would have thought I would enjoy, sometimes even crave, a walk every day?! *
*well, most days
So much has changed this year. Which reminds me…
| Idea:
|
Probability Factor: | 1 Year On |
| Exercise every day
|
It is cold and grey outside…very uninviting 30 % | If not walking, then some stretches or Pilates 96%
|
| Meditate
|
Chillax whilst partner watches Forged in Fire 60%
|
I am counting my mindful walks in this total 60% |
| Watch interesting documentaries
|
Bingewatch several Netflix series and all recorded episodes of “The Mindy Project” 4% | Some stuff about the planet, survival programmes (in case there is an apocalypse 50%
|
| Cook amazing recipes
|
Food supplies will plummet in shops 9% | I am LOVING cooking 100% |
| Try to cook new and interesting dinners
|
Essentials will be low, leaving random items on shelves 90% | Definitely, but not because of dwindling stock 100% |
| Keep hairstyle up together | Will definitely cut own fringe and be greyer 10%
|
2 haircuts from my own Vidal Sassoon, the odd fringe-trim, several shades of pink and blonde. Not necessarily professional, but it counts! 90%
|
| Read more
|
I love books. FACT 94% | It was a slow start, but I am fully enjoying reading again 94%
|
| Manicure regularly | SO many nail varnishes + many potential weekends confined in my home = 89%
|
This is surprisingly lower than I expected. Sometimes I didn’t even bother with a clear coat (I know!) on a weekday 60%
|
| Get a cute dog for company | Landlady has a “no pets” rule L 0%
|
But our new neighbour has one J 1%
|
| Speak to Shish and Kebab more
|
That’s a firm yes 100% | Hands down 100% |
| Eat more crisp sandwiches
|
Until the bread and Philadelphia runs out?! 73%
|
I reckon I have only had about 3… but it’s still more than usual 57%
|
| Declutter the house
|
Maybe for the first 2 or 3 weekends…. 43%
|
So
Many Times 97%
|
| Make (sorry, encourage) my partner to play more games
|
Yahtzee is unopened and I’m desperate to play it. And Scrabble has a shelf life 76%
|
I have convinced Darren to play 2 games of Dobble, 1 round of Bananagrams…but we are Scrabbling weekly 93%
|
| Relocate every ornament in the house
|
Yes. But I may not dust them 50% | Yep, and I have not increased the dusting 59% |
| Learn a new skill
|
Does patience count? 3% | SEE BELOW** |
| Watch the final series of Homeland
|
I just can’t bear to watch Claire Danes ugly cry any more. I’m out -15% | Whatevs |
| Actually make more voice and video calls instead of texting
|
I want to see human faces and keep in contact with loved ones (aww!) 100% | I message my sister and my mum every few days, my friends almost daily and although I can’t set up a Zoom, I participate 100%
|
** Have I learned a new skill? I guess this could be viewed as subjective, because what exactly is a “skill” ?
To me…it is learning new facts; learning how to adapt and live in a way I am not used to; it’s baking a cake 6 times and finally getting it right; it is asking for help when I am stuck at work; it’s admitting I am struggling or going stir crazy.
So yes, I have learned new skills. Every day I am pushing myself to be healthier and braver. I am remembering to check in on people I love. I am taking a break when I feel overwhelmed. I am getting up early to ensure I start my day in a positive and affirming way.
And no matter what, every night I go to bed and am grateful for everything I have – from a warm bed to a roof over my head – and I cherish my good health and knowing my parents are a forty-five minute drive away.
In lots of ways, our lives will never be the same again. Masks are “normal” and social distancing now comes naturally (maybe not to everyone – seriously, wait your turn to get a packet of spaghetti goddamn it, don’t reach past me and get in my space). Grey hair and roots are the “new normal” and working from home is the new daily commute.
Perhaps the world has finally turned a corner, so to speak, realising how precious every plant and animal is, and how fragile human life is.
Has society finally come to terms with the importance of relationships and maintaining good mental health?
Our planet did not stop turning – we still had wants and needs – and these were fulfilled by shopkeepers and delivery drivers. Key workers cared for our sick and dying, our elderly and our young.
It has been a horrific year for many. A life-changing time and things will never be the same again.
I have felt fear, anxiety and sadness. But in-between those moments, there have been glimpses of fun, love, laughter and making new memories.
And today, 19th March 2021, is exactly a year to the day since I came home from work and did not return.
It also the day I received my second vaccination.
So it seems like the right time to leave this here.
I am incredibly grateful for your comments and encouragement and just to have you here. Thank you for listening to me without judgement. I hope I have helped you to laugh and to feel that you are not alone.
Stay safe xx
